Reality Check

With less than 2 weeks until the big 4-0 I have come to the realization that my 40 Before 40 list is going to turn into a 40 Through 40 list. I vastly underestimated the time it would take to complete these tasks while also caring for our two daughters and all things home related…silly me for thinking I could do it all.

This really has been the struggle this year – wanting to do it all and still not grasping the limits of what I may be able to accomplish in a day, but I’m getting better. I, just yesterday, stashed away materials for a new project I want to do, one that can certainly wait until I finish all the unfinished ones in my queue.

In the past year I’ve gotten one more year of experience as a mama. That is surely something I wouldn’t trade for anything, though sometimes I think I’d like to. It can be hard and frustrating and draining and did I mention hard? But then I’ll catch Evie playing on her xylophone and singing snippets of “How Great Thou Art” or I’ll give Lucy something at lunch and she’ll smile at me and sign “Thank you.” And my heart catches because in those moments I know it’s not in vain, this work I’m doing, and despite what it seems like a lot of the time, they are listening and watching and learning and growing. And as their mama and primary caregiver it’s my job to put this first.

So in this past year I’ve done more than any list could hold, little everyday things, laundry and dishes and coloring and building and stickers (oh so many stickers!). And while I really do want to complete the list that follows, those things aren’t going anywhere. The work that the Lord has set before me in raising these sweet babes, that’s the path I’m on and they are eager to be on the move. So I’ll chase and follow them as long as they’ll let me (and probably a little while after that too 😊).

So for my official list I’ve got somethings checked off, some partially done, and some not even touched (some even finagled a little). I thought I’d give an update about where I am in all of this, and really, to see for myself.

1. Read through the Bible – 25/66 In the midst of Ezekiel right now

2. Read 15 books (I swapped the number of books to read with the number of audio books to listen to – it just made more sense as I can listen to books more easily) – 9/15

3. Finish reading the Wingfeather Saga with Steve – we are still on book 2, but I told him I’d like to finish it by my birthday.

4. & 5. Run a 5K & 10K – I really don’t know if these will be done…I haven’t run in over 6 months. I was doing really well, but as the runs got longer it was harder to figure out the logistics of being able to go running, even if I took the girls with me. The further I got was 2 miles without stopping, which was pretty amazing. I do still like running, it’s just figuring out when I can actually do it.

6. Pay off my car – ✅

7. Go to Michigan – ✅ x2 😊 We drive there last summer and flew there for Christmas. Both trips were wonderful!

8. Listen to 40 audio books – 22/40 – I’m currently on an Inkling kick and am listening to The Fellowship of the Ring. The previous two books were about C. S. Lewis, and then him & Tolkien and how WWI influenced their writing.

9. Eat in a restaurant – ✅, many times over since last February, but the first time was last March when we went to Iron Hill (also Lucy’s first restaurant experience).

10. Get take out from a new place – ✅ also done last March

11. Organize the basement – still a work in progress

12. Update photo wall – nope

13. Complete Lucy’s shadow box – ✅

14. Make braided t-shirt jump rope – no, but hoping to do this as a craft in March for Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes

15. Make a braided basket – no again

16. Make Lucy’s mobile – I have the pieces made but need to see them together…thoughts on how a mobile could be designed for an almost 18 month old?

17. Beat Yoshi’s Craft World – so close!

18. Wear clothes that fit in 2016 – ✅ silhouette is not the same, but some look decent. I’ll take photos when I remember (or when I feel like it 😆)

19. & 20. Get Evie’s & Lucy’s journals up to date – this has probably been one of the hardest things to sit down and do. I very much want to, but haven’t. I have a feeling I’ll be posting about that later.

21. Make felt play food – ✅ Crafty post about that coming soon!

22. Write letters to 10 friends – 1/10

23. Complete a Little Free Library – about half way. My dad helped a lot with this when he was out in May, but I haven’t been able to work on it since. It would be awesome if I could get it up by Evie’s birthday.

24. Write Steve a love letter – not just because

25. Watch 10 Best Picture films I’ve never seen – 1 2/3 /10 – I fell asleep towards the end of Patton. I really liked it, I was just also very tired. We haven’t gotten around to watching the end yet.

26. Make pasties – nope

27. Go on a family picnic – ✅ Last May

28. Make a quilt or quilted wall hanging – not quite, but I did make a really neat quilted towel for a collaborative art project. I think that counts so ✅

29. Try hot sauce with a meal – ✅ this was actually the first I did.

30. Write a poem – ✅

31. Write a story – nope

32. Find a new family doctor – ✅

33. Make pretzels from scratch – nope

34. Make something with Evie – ✅ she helped me make poke cake when we were in MI in the summer.

35. Listen to 25 albums from new-to-me artists – 4/25 – I’ve found I should just look up and add the albums when I have a moment because when I actually have time to really listen I’m usually by myself in the car (which doesn’t happen often) and I don’t have my list of ideas with me.

36. Record the first episode of Page & Screen – nope

37. Learn to do a smokey eye – nope

38. Commission a work of art from a kid/teen – ✅ I asked Alli when she was still 19 so I’m counting it! She made an amazing shadow box with Carl & Ellie’s house from Up in it. Just need to figure out where to hang it in Evie’s room.

39. Spend an evening stargazing with Steve – ✅ we did this in September with a lovely campfire in the backyard.

40. Wear my wedding band & engagement ring – almost. I have been able to put my wedding band on for a bit but then it feels too tight and freaks me out a little that I might get it stuck so I take it off 😞 My stand-in ring is too big though and I’ve thought I lost it multiple times just to have it turn up in random places (like at the bottom of a basket of laundry). Maybe in a month or so…

So, all in all, 15 out of 40 are completed with as many never yet touched. Give it a year and check back with me. I’ve heard 40 is a good year and I am excited to see what it brings.

Love & Blessings,

KJ

Music Reviews: Carrie Newcomer & Mission House

One of the items on my 40 Before 40 list is to listen to 25 new-to-me artists. I’ve been slacking on this somewhat, but recently listened to my second so I thought I’d share my thoughts.

This is the first I listened to, sometime back in February, I think. I was having a rough day and was grateful to be able to get out of the house and go and do crafts at the assisted living facility. I put this on as I pulled out of the driveway. At the first song I was taken back by the richness of Carrie’s voice. It wasn’t light and airy and high. It was deep and full and beautiful. It drew me in and I felt great comfort, like sitting with an old friend. This album was a balm to my soul.

Favorite songs: Lean in Toward the Light, A Shovel is a Prayer, The Beautiful Not Yet, You Can Do This Hard Thing

I just listened to this album this past week. I thought I should probably work on some of the items in my list and as the girls were napping and there were dishes that needed to be washed, listening to music seemed like a good fit. I looked back on my list of suggested artists and this was at the top of the list. These songs drew me into worship of the Lord. I’m trying to learn how to do this more/better and the words and melodies seemed to help focus my ever-distracted mind. The repetitiveness of some of the choruses may not be favored by some, but I could see myself using one of the songs to focus my attention on the Lord as I prepare to spend time in worship and prayer.

Favorite songs: Nothing Left To Do, Never See the End

One week

It’s been over 640 days

But who’s counting?

Now it’s just one week

Seven days

Until we see you face to face

Not on a screen like we have

For the past 640-some days

I get to hug you

Squeeze you both tight

Something I’ve been wanting to do

All this time we’ve been apart.

Tears of sadness and frustration and fear and sorrow

So many of these have fallen

Because of missed birthdays, holidays, and births

Celebrating together but apart is just not the same

But these next seven days

They will see tears of excitement and love and happiness and rejoicing

Especially that seventh day

So many that the tears of the past 640-some days will have made just a small pond in comparison

I’m sure I’m not the only one they’ll be coming from

And while I cannot wait to feel your embrace again

I’m even more excited to see you scoop my girls up in your arms

For them to see that Grandma and Papa don’t live in a screen

To bounce on your knees and be silly together with you

I have longed for this

And in seven short days

This will be our reality

Tears and hugs and kisses and more tears and more hugs and smiles and laughter

The laughter

I can’t wait to hear it ringing in the house

No delay or stuttered freeze

But in real time

That I could capture the days to follow and play them over and over again

There will be many photos I’m sure

But I want there to be even more memories

Memories that will hold tight

Like the best hug

The most comforting squeeze

That will last much longer than 640-some days.

Spontaneous Family Picnic

Sunday the weather was so lovely so on the way home from church I told Steve I wanted to go to the park or do something outdoorsy. He suggested gathering lunch and easing to the park. It was a perfect idea! The girls had fallen asleep on the ride home so he stayed out with them while I threw lunch together and grabbed sunscreen and hats and we were on our way!

Lunch came first and was a little tricky as Evie’s not tall enough yet to reach the picnic table well from the bench but it worked. She was eager to run around on the playground, but we managed to convince her to eat most of her lunch before we went to play.

We split up as Evie just wanted to run (the girl never walks anywhere!). Steve followed her around as I took Lucy to the swings.

It was such a fun outing (even if neither of the girls took a nap afterward). It was great to do something spur of the moment without too much thought. I find that harder to do with the girls, but it worked out well because, for once, I had no other plans for the day. I get so stuck in what my plans are sometimes I find it difficult to just “go with the flow.” The funny thing about this is that I don’t think I was like that before the girls were born…

It was a nice break from the hustle and bustle of the week, and isn’t that Sundays are for? Plus I got to cross one more thing off my list! I’m looking forward to many more this summer and in the years to come, planned and not.

Love & Blessings,

KJ

Take-Out Night!

I’ve completed a few things on my 40 Before 40 list, but I’m starting with this one because it’s the freshest in my memory 😁

Friday night is our typical take-out night and sometimes it takes a bit to figure out where we might want to go. One of the items on my list is to get takeout from a place we haven’t been before. Might seem easy, but we’ve been doing take-out about once a week for a year now and not really traveling, so we’ve basically found our favorite places and go back to them a lot. But this week I found an amazing recommendation from a friend who has a food blog on Instagram, Non Stop Noms. She posted pics of some delicious empanadas she had and I knew I wanted some too!

So tonight we took a drive to Amigos Mexican Grill & Empanada Factory to pick up our dinner of empanadas (spicy jerk chicken for Steve, beef & cheese for me, and cheesesteak to share) as well as chimichangas (pork for me, pork, chicken, & steak for Steve). Evie enjoyed a little bit of everything, though the sour cream was her favorite. The girl lives for condiments 😆

Everything was so amazing and we have a meal for another day still! We probably could have just gotten one chimichanga between us 3. I’m glad we stumbled upon this place (thanks for posting those yummy looking pictures, Christa!) and we’ll definitely be going back! If you live in the area, you should make it a point to check them out.

Soon I’ll update on other items I’ve crossed off my list.

Love & blessings,

KJ

40 Before 40

As I celebrate my last year in my 30s I’ve been inspired to come up with a 40 before 40 list – 40 things I want to do before turning 40. I started my list last week and it’s comprised of various things; some things I’ve never done, some things I haven’t done in a while (thank you, Covid 🙄), and some things I’ve been meaning to do for a while but haven’t gotten around to.

And so I present it to you, in no particular order:

1. Read through the Bible – I have yet to do this and I’ve tried the last few years. I’ve decided to just keep going from when I started last year and am not starting over. Goodness, I’ve gotten through the first 10 books or so quite a number of times 🙂

2. Read 40 books – starting with the one I’m currently reading.

3. Finish reading The Wingfeather Saga with Steve – we started reading this together last year (I had already read it on my own). Right now we’re in the middle of book 2 out of 4.

4. Run a 5K

5. Run a 10K

6. Pay off my car – we bought it on my birthday 2 years ago (not intentionally a birthday present, my car had just died).

7. Go to Michigan – see my folks and sisters and brothers-in-law, and nieces. They last saw Evie when she was just 2 months old and have yet to meet Lucy.

8. Listen to 15 books – I love audio books.

9. Eat in a restaurant – we’ve gotten plenty of take out and did outside dining last summer, yet I’d like to eat in somewhere. We last did that last February.

10. Get take out from a new place.

11. Organize the basement – we moved into this house in 2017 and the basement has been hit hard the last two years, first with moving our guest bed down there to make Evie’s bedroom and then moving Steve’s office down there that make Lucy’s room.

12. Update photo our photo wall – babies grow and a new one was added!

13. Complete Lucy’s shadow box

14. Make braided T-shirt jump ropes – for Operation Christmas Child. I’ve had a ton of old T-shirt’s about with the intent of doing something with them.

15. Make a braided basket – a half started project from last year.

16. Make Lucy’s mobile.

17. Beat Yoshi’s Crafted World – I’ve never beaten a video game in my life…this one will require Steve’s help 😉

18. Wear clothes that fit in 2016.

19. Get Evie’s journal up to date.

20. Get Lucy’s journal up to date.

21. Make felt play food.

22. Write letters to 10 different friends.

23. Complete a little free library – money I got for my birthday is going towards something I can use as one whether it’s an old cabinet or something I find at the thrift shop. It’ll probably take a bit longer to save up the money to make it official.

24. Write Steve a love letter.

25. Watch 10 best picture movies I’ve never seen.

26. Make pasties – I have done this before, but not since a Evie was born.

27. Go on a family picnic.

28. Make a quilt – or quilted wall hanging.

29. Try hot sauce with a meal – Steve loves hot sauce and convinced me this would be a good thing to add to my list. I actually did it last week! I’ll update on that in another post.

30. Write a poem – I haven’t written nearly as much as I’d like to and I love it so.

31. Write a story – ⬆️

32. Find a new family doctor – I found out a month after the fact that mine left the office I was going to. In the time of Covid it’s easy to over look this, so I thought I’d add it to my list so I remember to do it.

33. Make pretzels from scratch.

34. Bake something with Evie – maybe she’ll be able to help with her sister’s birthday cake.

35. Listen to 25 albums from new-to-me artists – I’ve got a pretty good list of suggestions thanks to my friends in the Rabbit Room Chinwag group on FB.

36. Record the first episode of Page & Screen – a podcast Steve and I have talked about doing since we got married.

37. Learn to do a smoky eye – I’ve never been one to do a lot with makeup but thought this would be fun.

38. Commission a work of art from a kid or teen.

39. Spend an evening stargazing with Steve – we have a fire pit now and I imagine this to be the perfect night.

40. Wear my wedding band and engagement ring – these haven’t fit since before Evie was born and I’m too stubborn to get them resized.

So there you have it! I’ll be updating along the way, so stay tuned! In the meantime, what would be on your list (no matter if you’re no where near 40 or have long past it 😁)?

Love & Blessings,

KJ