Eight weeks and two days ago my life changed forever.
Gone are the early nights to bed and sleeping past 5am (6am occasionally) in the morning.
Gone is having the day to myself to do what I wanted, when I wanted.
Gone are the days of only being responsible for myself.
Gone are the days of being able to leave the house in less than 10 minutes (not that I was terribly good at that before).
Gone are the moments of quiet, relatively easy to find.
Rare will be spontaneous trips out or traveling with a tiny purse.
Here are the days of a new normal.
Here are the early morning feedings, as well as those in the middle of the night.
Here are the days of caring for someone totally dependent on me.
Here are the days of changing diapers, cleaning spit-up (and things a bit more undesirable).
Here are the days of wondering “What have we done?”.
Here are the days of riddled with self doubt, thoughts of inadequacy, confusion, frustration, and sleep deprivation.
Gone are the days of longing for this blessing.
Gone are the days, racked with heartbreak for a desire unfulfilled.
Gone is the asking, “How long, O Lord?”.
Here are the days of rocking in my mama’s chair; nursing my little girl as sun beams gradually fill the room.
Here are the days of singing “Jesus Loves Me” time and again, with great hope that the Truth will be made evident in this new life.
Here are the days of seeing my husband learn how to be a daddy (discovering such tricks like humming the Star Wars theme can typically calm her down).
Here are the times of snuggling, the three of us, and the enjoyment of just being together.
Here of the days of seeing the Lord’s faithfulness, yet again, and wondering why it was ever doubted.
Here are the days of thanking the Lord (though not at all nearly enough), for this amazing blessing He’s bestowed upon us.
I always knew that being a mother wasn’t going to be easy, but it’s harder than I ever imagined. Especially when it brings to light all the sin and selfishness that’s tucked away in my heart. We are still figuring this out (and will be for the next 20 or so years, or just forever) and adjusting to our new normal, but are oh so thankful to be blessed with friends & family we can turn to for support, advice, and encouragement, and even more so for a God who is always reminding us just how great His faithfulness is.
Love & Blessings,