Learning Curve

Just a few thoughts on things I have learned (thus far) in this season of infertility.

*God is steadfast & faithful. While I can wish that He would be faithful in the way that I want, I am oh so grateful that He is faithful in the way that I need. In friends willing to keep me occupied during the time when I cannot help but be on edge with waiting. In friends who have offered listening ears, who have cried with me, who have encouraged me, who have shared their stories with me. In a husband who is more than I deserve, who loves me through the crazy, through the sorrow, and through the hormones (which just intensify the first two).

In all of this and more, the Lord has been faithful in His care for me, His love for me.

*Sorrow and joy are not mutually exclusive. Fear & love; those two things have no business together as “perfect love casts out all fear” 1 John 4:18. Sorrow and joy are very different from that. I can be sorrowful and grieve and still have my joy. That sounds a little funny, doesn’t it? Perhaps I can explain it.

Over and over I have been taught that our joy is not bound to our circumstances, because our joy, true joy, is only found in Christ. As God, Christ never changes, never waivers, and in Him our joy is complete. Just because I grieve it doesn’t mean my joy is gone. Jesus Himself wept.

This has been a struggle for me to get to. In the beginning of this all I thought that my grief and sorrow were in opposition to my Lord. That I was spitting in His face because I couldn’t not grieve as each month went by. If I was so complete in Him why did it hurt so much?

Yes, I grow weary at times. Yes, I cry. Yes, I mourn. Yes, I wonder why. But the joy of the Lord is my salvation, and in the midst of all this turmoil; times of sorrow and grief, I cling to that, knowing it is the one thing that will not change.

My moods may go from silly & giggly to withdrawn & quiet in record time, but the joy of the Lord is my strength. I may not know what tomorrow brings, but my hope is secure in Him.

Dear friends, I hope you’ve experienced these truths in your own lives. That the Lord is teaching you about His love, grace, and faithfulness, no matter your circumstance.

Love & Blessings,

KJ

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